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has dis ever happened to u?
ur toenail being chipped off fully remved due to sum door accidents?
well dis wasnt an accident.

aaah...diz is kewl.
chest implants.
buttons on ur chest...how nice.

if face lift creams dunt help, do a face pull.it helps alrite!

now big earlobes are so outdated wen it comes to cutting ur damn freakin earlobes.followers of evander hollyfield!thanks to mike tyson for startin d trend.

ok this is wher it gets interestin....like how u'd chuckle over penises n scrotums wen u wer little...
giggle over this!!!

grabbin yer balls tite and havin spikes pierced thru with slight pullin pressure.mmmmm.....nice!

dickheads are sooper sensitive sex parts.well, its still sooper sensitive if u were to pierce it wit super fine needles!

be careful not too pull too hard while masturbatin, it might juz tear.

nah there aint no boogers in here.

weeeeee!ive cut my dick halfway n am juz gonna let it dangle.how fun!

bob the builder!can he fix dis!bob d builder!no he cant!

join the dots.

u can say goodbye to ribbed condoms.

ok ok....now lets see.if u think leg splits are awesome, den im sure u'l find this sexy too....i guess.u love threesomes?simple...split yer dick in half n u can fuck dem both at d same time.

heres a one step guide on how to hav a split dick...first take a scissors...secondly...fillet yer dick...n u'll hav a glorious lookin 2way dick in no time.enjoy!

warning!only use sharp objects like scissors or surgical blades.a barbie doll's legs...hmmm....if her toenails are sharp enuf y not.yeah u can start from ur peehole too.

tip:if u find a split dick boring...split it open n do sum ancient acupuncture on it.it helps to circulate d stupidity in u.

i dunt get it.i realli dunt noe wat fun ther is to cut yer fingertip in half...dude!seriously...

oh yeah if u find dicks n fingers boring to split, do it to yer nipples.if its long enuf dat is.

ermm....wen i said long...i didnt think it wud b diz long.is dat a chimpanzee's tits?

if ure one of those who think nipples are unnecessary for men, well remove it den.action speaks better den words yah.

scrotums are known to be the ugliest thing in the world.enhance the ugliness in ur scrotum by fillin it up wit saline!n pokin it wit lotsa pins, innovatin it into a world map.such creative minds we humans are.

u can even cut a hole in it...enlarge d hole n use it as handcuffs for kinky masturbations...

or even as a cup/can holder...hey dats useful in cinemas aint it?

oh n if u find it so ugly dat u'd cry everytime u c it, burst it wit a pin n take out d contents.

trust me....dats an anus.no seriously guys....dats a farkin anus.

legs go weak.heads go groggy.
ur throat vibrates as ur stomach churns to puke.dun worry.its part n parcel of adaptin to bastard theory.
u;d also go wonderin..y isnt ther any pussy tortured pics...
first things first we aint gay.
we the people of bastard theory love and respect vaginas.showing a tortured vagina wud b disrespectful and inappropriate.so as pussy loving creatures we are, we shall not show those cute n fun lil thingimajiggies...tortured.its jus sick.we encourage you to love n care for every vaginas in d world.we dun wan ur money.we juz wan u to respect dem.SAVE THE VAGINAS!

n like we promised, bastard theory tshirts are up for grabs...anyone who cud do any of d beautiful things above n show it to us, will recieve a free bastard theory tshirt!