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quarter life performance 

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with

the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that

you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder

where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely

know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends

that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you

have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most

important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that

too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as

confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you

would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you

are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions

have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself

judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain

boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of

what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry

with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and

confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past

with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and

further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move

forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such

damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent

enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but

love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because

you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups

start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look

pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with

your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a

decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for

yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just

like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are

in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to

figure this whole thing out.

GIG was good!

but not as great as wat we expected.

anyway thanks war for makin diz gig possible.

thank u europa for letting us play d gig on d same time as d safra dudes.stoopid pre-lecture.

thanks to azreal n narsimha or whoever who lets us play.n expose ourselves to d metal scene.i apologise to those(especially non metal listeners)who is tolerating high decibels in their eardrums.thanks to mann n james for taking their time to session for us.good job guys!n thanks to those who came up to me to comment on my vocals.hey...i think d whole band did great.n d rumours of fenrir n meza virs is cleared btwn both bands.

ait.gonna make a new gothic band wit mann.need guitarist.anyone interested?gonna open a new t shirt company.u guys buy my tshirts ok?hahahaha!my own original designs ait....hopefully il make it...tiz a dream come true.yuri i miss u already....aishiteru!angela may....u r so damn freakin beautiful!!!!!id drool a million cows juz by staring at ur fair amooth fine skin.grrr.....for d rest of u guys....cheers!

2003-12-01
1:14 a.m.
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