Freelance Graphic Designer Photographer Digital Imaging Artist Mural Artist Model Video Director
Ladies and gentlemen!!!!!!!!!!
N those twisted ones!
You guys can stop buggin me by callin n smsing me on d phone juz to tell me to start bloggin(to those who did)....coz....I'm BACK!
with the site revamped...n my skool assessments for diz year over..im all psyched up to continue writing nonsensical shit all around again..
im sorri for d past few weeks or i think tiz been a month since i last bloggd..been tite wit skool lately.....so b lenient on me ey if my materials arent as farkd up as wat u guys were expectin for.
anyways if u were wonderin wat those thailand words actualli mean...it means "based on a true story".so yeah...hmmm...
oh yeah....n thanks again to yassaman for doin d layout on diz page.thanks dude.
now now now./.the diary of danial enemiko psychosickotica continues....
i went for psychotherapy juz now at central man power base aka cmpb...for d government suspected me of lunacy.kewlness.
so i went in d doctors room n he asked questions like:
hav u attempted suicide?
hav u thought of turning transverstite?
are you depressed?
do you like pain?
n all those weird ass shit questions...
dat was d most interesting kickass psychology session ive ever had!
well i onli went to a psychotherapist twice.i was s ent ther d the first time coz i cudnt stop irritatin n disturbing the peace in d family...oh well i think dats common.so diz psycho-the-rapist talked to me for an hour bout wat goes around in my mind n he jotted down almost everythin i said in his pc.den one thing led to another, we ended up talkin bout religion for another hour.he condones it while i condemn it.(he's a christian fyi.)well not realli condemn coz i still gots my respects for those who believe.its not rite to mock.maybe it is...oh maybe not....den again...haiz...nvm..but religion is damn complicated.it leaves us wit frequent confusion n questions.it makes us wonder...i say religion is d eighth wonder of the world.its a landmark of outstanding beauty.it is also a wonder...to us humans...we wud ponder n question ourselves bout it almost everyday n we'd juz make ourselves shuddup coz we fear god wud listen to us n punish us for it.well...here are some things dat we ponder bout religion.some wit answers while sum are juz better left unsaid.
ponders like how dus the virgin mary hav jesus without losing her virginity?
sum said twas a miracle while others thought logic n said dat god has a small dick.
it was also belived dat the hindus cant eat beef coz dey believe dat one of their gods is a cow.Hav u ever wondered y muslims cant eat pork...?
well i shant go furhter for now.religion can get so freakin controversial.sigh.
from an atheist....to an agnostic....to a believer...to an overly exagerrated possessed fucker who writes his own religion n makes glam bout it.irritatin.
oh well...lets not waste time n proceed to d nex round.THE LIGHTNING ROUND!y i call it d lightnin round?coz i'd may b struckd by a lightnin at d end of diz round.
Kewl Things to do in religious shrines:
in d Mosque:
-wear d 'songkok' sideways.n wen askd, say ure a muslim pirate.
-wear d 'tudung' d other way round.wher d back is d front n d front is d back.
-pronounce mosque as mos-key wit a confidence look on ur face.
-wen u c sumone prayin, place ur feet at where he will plant his face at.
u may also stand infrnt of dem n wen dey bow down...say"oh!u shudnt have.."
-wen everyones in line n about to pray...grab d mic n sing d national anthem.
u may also shout "DJ spin dat shit!"
-pee at wher dey wash themselves before their prayers.
-fart loudly n react as tho its d person beside u who did it.
-scream "ghost!" wen u c d ladies wearin d white prayer costumes.
-larf wen theyre preachin.
-pray a close distance to d person behiind u.so wen dey do a face plant, their face will land near ur butt n feet.
-say ur prayers loudly as if ure very holy.
-paste posters of anti terrorrism.
-wen u c a turban n bearded guy u can either tell him "dey wrong temple" or simply shout "hey arent u osama!?"
-wen performin d face plant, tickle d sole of d feet of d person infrnt of u till he agitates or spasms.
-say amen instead of a-meen.
-on d donation box, paste a poster on it saying COVER CHARGE.
ait ait....now for d nex round...
Church:
-dress up as a priest, go around n splsh holy water at everyone n say "may d power of christ compels you!"
-go to d confession box n sing the confessions song by usher.
-place kerosene in d holy water.
-bit d priests' finger wen he feeds u d white buscuit thingy.
-talk to jesus' statue dramatically.
-while being preachd, snore loudly.
-while singin, beatbox.
-go to d confession box n confess dat ure god.
-paste labels on d holy bible sayin "fairytales"
-adress d elder priests as granfather instead of father.
-stand up n say halleluyah everytime d reverend finishes a sentence.
ait enuf lucifying.
lets move on.
indian tamples:
-close ur nose once u step inside.
-draw a huge red mark on ur forehead.make sure its bigger den ur hand.
-run around n scream "help monsters everywher!"
-organize a halloween party ther.
-during their firewalkin rituals, knock down a person while he's firewalkin n stand on top of him holdin him down on d hot coals.
-while they're pokin huge needles from the kavadi to their body, help out n poke one needle into one of their eye n another at their heart.n claim dat he looks great.
-eat n offer beef jerkies.
ok ok...lets proceed to d bonus round.
chinese temple:
-since dey like burnin so much....throw a million copies of yellow pages inside d temple n burn dem.den hop out of d temple as if d chinese ghosts do.
well d amount of kewl things to do for each religion is random thru imagination n spontaneous inspirations.so dunt call me prejudice ait.u may call me a bastard.yeah dat'll do.for first timers in diz blog, dunt b silly n take things in my blog seriously....pleez..for peace laughter n joy.may all d religion accomplish their motives and may all d believers be blessd.n may i sign out peacefully without any thunder bolts hoverin around me.selamat berhunger to all d muslims out ther.may u hav good food.(?!)cheers to u guys n cheers to the newlook of THE BASTARD THEORY!
Past Fairytales
enemiko's manifesto - 2007-05-20
pumpkins are related to watermelons - 2006-10-28
four way color coded apparatus - 2006-08-09
Bike skid terror - 2006-07-12
sixsixsix - 2006-06-06